Communication/Listening Skills

My blog is posted a little late because I have had trouble with my modem not working and finally giving out and the cable company cannot come until next Wednesday to replace it. It does not matter that I need it replaced yesterday……which I tried to communicate to the lady at the call center in Billings, Montana as she was kind and understanding and apologized to me but they are backed up and cannot get out to me until next week.  So I went to my son’s to download my application assessments and although I did them, my son did and a co-worker friend did, when I went to open up the saved material after competition they are blank. Is this a sign?

The information that I can share is the communication anxiety inventory. I was able to open mine because I did it last week at work.  All three of us scored low and saw that I have no anxiety when I communicate with others.  I feel that is a true representation of me.  The verbal aggressive scale we scored 60 for me, my son 61 and co-worker 65. The listening style, I was in Group 1 and my co-worker scored me there but my son put me in Group 2.

I am curious to see what the differences mean in Group 1 compared to Group 2. I feel good that my co-workers answers put me in the same group because evidently she sees me the same.  I would assume that my children do not think I listen as well as I should. Again these are only assumptions because I do not know what they mean. 

With the type of questions that were asked in the listening survey, I think there are outside influences that effect the way the I listen to others. I think to be fair to the other person I have to be in a situation where we are not rushed in the process so I do not have to continually look at the clock. I need to be n a room behind closed doors to give them my full attention.  I also need to listen to them completely and not finish their sentences because sometimes I do this.

This was a fun assignment. I think it is important to look at ourselves especially in the hopes of improving the ways we interact with people. 

Cultural Diversity

Cultural Diversity surrounds my life. My family is American Causation. My sister and I were raised in the Christian Church. Our parents have been married for 64 years. My father’s parents immigrated from Sicily and my mother’s family came across the United States in a covered wagon and homesteaded in Colorado in the 1880’s.  Most of my co-workers come from Mexico and it seems that I learn new things about their culture and customs every day. 

I was raised in a home that valued a person’s diversity. I am glad I was raised the way I was because I have an acceptance for people regardless of race, religion, or sexual orientation. I do find myself communicating with people differently because I respect their individuality or culture.  I believe that is where the platinum rule comes into effect. We acknowledge what a person wants or needs and we give it to them. 

Based on what I have learned this week I would make every effort to learn about a parent, staff or child’s culture.  The resources used at the center are free of stereotypes. The language in our materials is gender neutral. It reflects and is appropriate for diverse groups being sensitive to equality and diversity.

Three strategies I would use to improve effective communication is to listen effectively. Make sure I have heard what the person has said by repeating, I see that… or I understand you……. The second strategy is to show understanding and kindness. Be empathetic to the other person by using the platinum rule. Put yourself in the others situation and think before you say or do the wrong thing.  The third strategy is to do the right thing. Make sure that clients are not discriminated against. That people of different cultures are given the same opportunities as other clients. Use every effort possible to communicate whether it is by using non-verbal cues or showing respect by not making eye-contact (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).

References

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Non-Verbal Communication

The television show that I chose to watch was the Bad Teacher. This show is seen on CBS for thirty minutes.

The characters at the beginning of the show were in the school cafeteria going through the lunch line. These people were teachers at the school. There is a man and a brunette lady in line and talking in what looked like a normal tone. There were no body gestures happening, they were just getting food, putting it on a plate as they went through the line. Than a blonde lady came over and crowded between the man and the brunette lady. The blonde lady threw her long hair back,  smiled and pushed herself  into line. She leaned in with her shoulder into the line, in front of the man. The blonde was talking to the man, smiling picking up food, smelling it and she put it back down on the tray.  She kept walking in line, picked up a piece of broccoli ate it gagged and spit it into a napkin. At that time another teacher, went in front of the blonde in line and joined the conversation. We will call her the teacher with glasses. As glasses talked her eyes opened widely as if what she was expressing might be important.  She had muffins in both hands. As glasses talked, the blonde teacher responded back by smiling and as she talked she was using her hands by moving them with a shaking gesture. The faster she was talking the faster she was moving her hands. I felt she was probably agitated at the glasses lady for entering into the conversation. It looked like the blonde ladies voice got louder. The man behind the blonde came close to the blonde talking into her ear. She smiled and walked away. I think the blonde and the man are in a relationship.

Watching the show, I learned that it was health week and they were being served healthy foods. The food was a vegan dish. The muffins the glasses teacher had were gluten free. The blonde lady had pushed her way into the line to complain about the weird foods being served. She said she would much rather have nachos and donuts. The glasses lady explained the muffins were gluten free, the blonde lady raised her voice yuck, shaking her hands, just give me donuts. The man whispered in her ear, you look good for all that junk you eat, meet me outside, I have something you want. She smiled and walked away. When she went outside, he had a nap sack of candy bars, donuts and junk food. They sat and ate the junk food on his car.

My assumptions were just that. I assumed the man and blonde were in a relationship. The blonde’s body language was invasive where she used it to crowd into line and she flung her hair back in a seductive manner smiling so she could really cut into line. They were not in a relationship. This plot of the show was set around the school trying to provide a healthy food alternative and get that staff involved being role models for the children. If this had been a show I watched all the time, I would have known the teachers were not in relationships. The ways they interact are based on their specific roles on the show. My aha moment for this assignment was learning that we make a lot of assumptions when we are unaware of the full story. We have to make sure we take the time to learn the full accurate story of any situation.

What is Communication?

T is a vocational rehabilitation counselor. He works with clients that have a mental health diagnosis. They are in training and client support with him to get back to the work force. T demonstrates competent communication abilities when he trains and has one on one communications with his clients. I took a parent to a meeting with T and I was very impressed by his kindness, empathy and devotion to assisting his clients.

T demonstrates the three primary functions of communication with his client’s affiliation, goal achievement and control. When we went in he expressed affiliation. He was warm and inviting. He got up and greeted us at the door with a hand shake. He used small talk to converse and asked the client how things had been going since he last saw her and her husband? As we were talking another client came to the door and he got up and greeted her. She told him she had just gotten a job and he told her that was great. She asked him if she could give him a hug and he said sure. 

Back to my client, he explained the program and asked the client what were her goals. He then explained the goals of the program, how he trained on certain aspects of how to complete a resume, job application and practice interviews. The training was a 90 day program and then he assisted them in job search or further training. It was specifically their program and up to them on how to complete their goals to get back into the work force. 

The final function of communication T demonstrated was the ability to influence the client or control. T had demonstrated that he was warm, inviting and helpful. He helped the client lay out goals of achievement. The control or influence was shown when T explained to the client the rules of the program and that the clients had certain rules and expectations they had to follow. The control was able to shift to the clients because they could develop their plan and be in control of their choices as long as they complete their goals in a certain time. 

I found that T demonstrated compete communication skills with his clients. He took the time to show them guidance and listened to their concerns. He made good eye contact and made me feel welcome as I assume he did the client. He would repeat her questions or answers to assure he understood what was said and he asked her to repeat certain things to assure she understood. I would follow his communication example because there could be a mutual respect and understanding between two parties because of the clarity throughout the conversation.

Reference 

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:

Bedford/St. Martin's.